Urgent call from home

I've always been somewhat reluctant to answer late night calls or those in the middle of the night or ones that seem doomed from the start.
This evening my daughter called telling me my brother wanted to talk to me and I needed to stop what I was doing and call him, they said it couldn't wait. He could not reach me.
Not wanting to come right out and say so over her uncle she relented and didn't say much.
I called my brother to find out that my dear precious mother (who has been very sick, frail and declining rapidly) was rushed back to the hospital today only one day after being brought home from there.
She is in intractable pain and they cannot get it managed for her without affecting her respiratory drive which is already seriously compromised. She is in agony with pain and they have not been able to find the source or fix it. It has made her weakened to the point that she is tired of fighting the pain and the family thinks the only reason she is holding on to it is to see me arrive back home next week.
No more it seems can be done for her except comfort measures and those measures could make her stop breathing.
I have agonized and agonized over this and worry would I even have a chance to get home to see her one last time before she leaves at another additional cost needed to raise more to fly out 2 days early maximum.
If I don't or do move ahead and she stabilizes and does well enough to be moved to rehab/ nursing care or onward to glory. I will at least not have recriminations, or regrets that would be present if i do wait. I can never look back on this and say I should have moved forward, and it I don't make it, i will be with all my grieving family working together at healing that much sooner.
I have decided to move ahead with booking a earlier flight two days early for $458 and let God work out the detail of the cost. He is in control and weather or not she is still there when I get there or not doesn't matter to me, I made the right decisions.
It is with painful, tearful, and yet joyful peace is overflowing at me as I wind down and set aside some last minute times with friends and loved ones here and leave abruptly. Forgive me if i do not see you before leaving dear precious Jinja peoples. May you always feel blessed from every thing you do and have no regrets that God is in control watching over you. I know he will care for me as I travel sooner in a heightened state of anxiety praying all the way and for my dear mother to at last have the freedom from pain and sickness she is so ready for.
As hard as it was to do it, tonight i lovingly told her it was OK to let go of it and not wait for me. I hated saying those words but to keep them to myself is so selfish.
I leave behind a life of service and surrender and to allow the Holy Spirit's guiding. I can do no better going back. Thank you Spirit of the Living God.
Pray for my dear mother as she languishes there in the hospital and for me to have a peace that passes all understanding. during the pushed up travel date.
I pray that since it is nearly 3 am I am not rambling and not making sense. I just ask for your prayer to get me home...
In Christ;s name
Siouxanne